‘Dodged a bullet’: Woman puts date on blast after he sent her an anti-feminist video. Then he finds her post and responds
Love is definitely not in the air for one potential couple. Since their first date, both have taken to social media to put the other on blast. Some details in their stories align; others do not.
The not-so-romantic tale begins as many do: on a dating app. It ends with dueling TikToks.
According to Cole O’Brien (@coleobrien), he and Alexa Abney (@alexaabney69) went out for sushi for their first date. The way he tells it, the date went well. They got caught up in conversation, talking about life, the future, and their likes and dislikes. He says they have a lot in common.
Abney has a different take. “He was just giving hater number one,” she says in a now-viral TikTok about what happened after their date.
Definitely not to be
The one thing they agree on is that O’Brien sent her a TikTok many would describe as misogynistic.
“It was this guy talking about how all women are crazy, we act through our emotions, and we just can’t think logically because we’re such emotional beings, and when you sign up to be a boyfriend, that’s what you sign up for, you’re not signing up to be a therapist or listen to your girlfriend’s cries for help,” she says in her post.
“And I was just like I can’t believe he sent that to me. That’s really weird, right?” she concludes.
O’Brien concedes that he sent the post, and it was “pretty much exactly how she described.” He also says it was not something you should probably send to a woman you’re interested in dating.
“I call them men-inism videos because they’re like feminist videos for men,” O’Brien says in his post. “They’re like those hard-core, like sigma alpha male videos. They’re kind of funny to watch.”
While he admits sending the video, O’Brien claims he did so accidentally in his sleep. He says he falls asleep watching TikToks pretty often and has a history of sending people videos while sleeping.
He further says that he sent that particular video to a bunch of people, including one of his TikTok accounts.
According to O’Brien, he didn’t realize he’d sent it to her until early afternoon the following day.
“I watched the video and I was like, ‘Oh my god this is a bad video,'” he says.
He tried to contact Abney, but she’d blocked him on Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok, he says. He had her phone number, though, so he says he texted her.
“I said, ‘Hey I just realized that I accidentally sent you a video while I was sleeping last night. I’m sorry about that,'” O’Brien says.
She never responded, according to him. Nor did Abney mention that he’d texted an apology in her video, which he takes issue with, among other supposed discrepancies in her account of their brief time together.
Taking it to the internet
They may not have found love, but they did find virality.
Abney’s TikTok about the post O’Brien sent her has 1 million views as of this writing. O’Brien’s has over 350,000 views.
People wasted no time taking sides. Some were team O’Brien; others team Abney.
One person commented on O’Brien’s post to accuse him of being “red pilled” by the content in his algorithm and opined that Abney “dodged a bullet.”
O’Brien clapped back that the content suggests he’s “masculine” not “red pill.”
Another took his side. “You seem like a great dude .. some folks crave public validation from strangers on the internet,” they wrote.
O’Brien didn’t respond to a direct message sent on TikTok Tuesday morning.
Over on Abney’s page, someone suggested that her date is “lucky he got away,” adding, “Red flags big time!”
Another joked, “$100 says he listens to Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson.”
Abney didn’t respond to an email sent Tuesday morning.
@coleobrien @alexaabney69 Here’s the full story since you wanted to paint me out to be a horrible person. #storytime #baddate #dating #datingapps #datinglife #fy #fyp #foryou #trending #viral ♬ original sound – coleobrien
In his post, O’Brien says he wishes that they could’ve kept their dating life off social media. He also claims that the experience has put him off dating for a while.
“I do not want to go on a date for a while now having saw the video,” he adds.
Update June 24, 2025:
O’Brien declined to comment.
@alexaabney69 i’m just confused why he sent that to me lol #fyp #baddate #storytime ♬ original sound – alexa ????
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